Meditation journal (9/24 – 9/29)

9/24 – Advanced TP (S)

The Norse imagery I use now in my TP meditation continues to be effective. I’m happy that the basic imagery has transitioned so smoothly to the more personalized imagery, which leads me to believe that this is a natural evolution of my TP practice. Not only was it satisfying in the overall purpose of the meditation, it is helping me grow closer to Odin due to his ravens, wolves, and his own presence being used in the vision. This had made the TP more well-rounded for me in that it fulfills my needs cosmologically, within my hearth culture, and including my growing relationship with deity.

9/25 – Prayer (N)

When giving my offering to Nerthus and the land wights in the thicket I said a prayer to both of them. The results are in my week 30 DP journal post:

“I went to the thicket to give my offerings to Nerthus and the land wights and I said a prayer to both of them. Each were spontaneous prayers in which I called to them to accept my offerings and then I praised them for all that they do for the world. Like the previous week, this had the effect of bringing both the land wights and the Earth Mother to the top of my awareness for the entire trip. Although I had normal thoughts while walking, as we all do naturally, I still felt focused on the land around me and the beings behind it. The prayers gave me a sense of calm that allowed the presence of the land wights and Nerthus to be felt. This manifested in that buzz of energy I felt as I walked through the forest.”

9/26 – Oracle meditation (S)

This morning I draw a rune to respond to my question: “What advice do you give me for the week?” The rune I pulled was Laguz. I than did some deep breathing and meditated on the meaning of this rune, turning the symbol over in my head. What I gathered from the drawing was the be flexible, to move with the currents that life brings, and to embrace these changes in life. I visualized myself by a large stream, with the rune etched into a stone next to the stream. I walked into the cool waters, letting them flow around me and carry me away. It was a peaceful experience, but I was aware that water can be chaotic too. By moving with it though, this chaos can be mitigated.

9/28 – Devotional (S)

Devotional went very smoothly and I think I’m getting the hang of how the flow of a devotional should go. This will serve me well when I start to write my own. Power from the Hallows and the presence of the Three Kindreds were felt at my shrine during the devotional. Sometimes just maintaining my connection with the Kindreds is fulfilling enough for me. In the past, it seemed like sometimes I was searching for that huge, profound moment, when it’s really the smaller moments that can be just as rewarding.

9/29 – Advanced TP (O)

Thank the gods for the TP meditation. It’s been an incredibly rough afternoon, and I was in dire need of some relief. This TP meditation provided that relief as I performed it at the base of the tree in the backyard as the sun began to dip in the late afternoon. The Norse imagery I’m using was vivid, which really brought those elements to life. It was relaxing and helped to calm down my frayed emotions. Another clear example of how balancing this meditation can be.

Dedicant Path: Week 30 – “The Two Powers: Final Essay”

The Two Powers

The Two Powers meditation is a method of grounding and centering that, according to Our Own Druidry, is “intended to link the Druid’s spirit and flesh to the currents of Earth and Sky” (95). This type of meditation is ideally suited to ADF Druidry because it draws upon two elements of Indo-European cosmology. The first element is the Fire, which includes the Sky, the Heavens, and Order, while the second element is the Well, which includes the Sea, the Underworld, and Chaos. By merging these powers in myself, they have the effect of grounding me in reality by using the imagery and energies of the essential elements of the cosmos. While the Tree is never explicitly stated, I am of the opinion that I am the Tree, drawing the Powers into myself. My branches reach towards the Sky Power, my roots dig deep into the Earth Power, and I draw these energies towards the center, towards myself, so that I may be balanced, whole, and connected to the cosmos. The Two Powers meditation is a wonderful practice to use as a stand-alone meditation, however I think it’s important to note that it’s incredibly effective as a way of establishing the group mind before a ritual. Not only does the Two Powers meditation bring calm and focus, it is a way of getting everyone “on the same page.” By using common imagery within the context of an ADF ritual, which draws heavily from these symbols, it synchronizes and connects everyone so that the ritual will be effective and fulfilling for the group.

I have been doing the Two Powers meditation for the past four months as part of my mental training program for the Dedicant Path. For the first couple of months, I used a script found in Our Own Druidry on page 95 along with a reading of the script by Ian Corrigan via audio file. After some practice, I was eventually able to go without the script, having memorized the flow of events in the meditation. In my experience, the Two Powers meditation makes me feel rooted in place with the Earth Power while the Sky Power acts like a guide that brings me into the center of the cosmos. It has given me focus before ritual and relief from the stress that life throws my way. The Earth Power feels cool and rejuvenating when it fills me, but it is also dark and mysterious. Its chaotic nature is present when I do the meditation. As the three pools fill me when I draw the earth power into my body, I can feel the roiling water within the pools, not unlike a whirlpool. At the same time, I find this power comforting in some ways, like the darkness within the womb, ready for the light to be cast and life made manifest. All of this is contrasted by the warm, precise, and orderly nature of the Sky Power, which sometimes feels like electricity as it travels down my body. As soon as that power merges with the Earth Power, it’s an energizing and vigorous feeling, revealing the potential and bringing it to life. From my experience, I feel it is accurate to say that the Earth Power feels chaotic and the Sky Power feels ordering. Not only do they make sense on a conceptual level, but they present themselves experientially. When those two currents become one, it feels like I am touching the very essence of life. I feel full, complete, and radiant with these powers. It’s my favorite part about the Two Powers meditation and it is the core of the experience.

While each power may subsist on their own as valuable energies, it’s the combination of the two that really defines the meditation. Sometimes I feel it on a small and personal level, and other times I feel the immense size of the cosmos. I often feel the earth power as cool and the sky power as warm, but there are times, however rare, where I have felt the opposite. In terms of intensity, neither of the powers have felt stronger than the other on average, but I typically do my Two Powers meditation near dawn, which is a liminal period. One time I did a Two Powers meditation outside late at night and the earth power seemed strongest at that time. Given the sensations I get with the earth power as chaos wrapped in the darkness of mystery and potential, this wasn’t entirely unexpected. However, I’ve come to learn that the Two Powers can really be done at any time of the day, although I may have to modify the imagery. For instance, if I was doing the meditation in the middle of the day, the Sky Power could be the sun, while at night I could use a star.

Although the Two Powers meditation has been very fulfilling, introducing imagery and symbols from the Norse hearth culture completes the experience for me. Within this modified script, the vision is set in a northern forest, with a shining star used as the Sky Power, my back against Yggdrasil, and I am guarded by the servants of Odin as I draw the Powers into me. As I grow within my own Druidry and I personalize the experience according to what speaks me as a Pagan, naturally things would evolve to follow suit. One of these things is the Two Powers meditation. My journal entry on the matter explains it best: “This has made the Two Powers more well-rounded for me in that it fulfills my needs cosmologically, within my hearth culture, and including my growing relationship with deity.”

My Hallows sit on my shrine, but it’s the Two Powers meditation that brings the Hallows within me. There may be times in life where one may not have access to the sanctuary of their home shrine, but with this meditation, you can carry them with you wherever you go. This makes the Two Powers incredibly important to learn and understand in the context of ADF Druidry. It is within the Two Powers that we find balance and connection to the cosmos, but it’s also important in that it creates a connection within the Fellowship and with each other as individuals.

Works cited:

Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship.  Our Own Druidry: an introduction to Ár nDraíocht Féin and the Druid Path.  Tucson: ADF Publishing, 2009.  Print

Nature awareness (continued):

On my drive to Silver Lake for my weekly nature awareness trip, I noticed that a few of the corn fields have been harvested.

I was able to go to Silver Lake in the middle afternoon, having the day of work for my kid’s first field trip. It was hot and humid, with the insects hounding me for most of my visit.

I went to the thicket to give my offerings to Nerthus and the land wights and I said a prayer to both of them. Each were spontaneous prayers in which I called to them to accept my offerings and then I praised them for all that they do for the world. Like the previous week, this had the effect of bringing both the land wights and the Earth Mother to the top of my awareness for the entire trip. Although I had normal thoughts while walking, as we all do naturally, I still felt focused on the land around me and the beings behind it. The prayers gave me a sense of calm that allowed the presence of the land wights and Nerthus to be felt. This manifested in that buzz of energy I felt as I walked through the forest.

I wandered the trails, noticing some of the leaves on the trees turning yellow. As if to punctuate the moment, I watched as a singular yellow leaf spiraled down to the ground. I also saw a multitude of acorns covering the paths that wound around the trees that dropped them, crunching as I walked over them. The red berries are now vibrant in their color, easy to spot in the foliage. I would think that at this point they are ripe, but I am not sure if they are safe for me to eat. I saw other berries beginning to form on other bushes, these were green in color. Butterflies flitted about in a patch of small white flowers and I tried in vain to coax one to land on my finger, although it had other ideas and flew off into the forest.

Before sitting in my spot, I communed with the sweet gum trees. Since becoming close to that particular tree, I see them wherever I go now. It feels nice to have a guardian that I am now aware of. I sat and listened to the land, closing my eyes and letting the sounds of the forest surround and fill me. I even did some light meditation. It’s an interesting change from meditating indoors, where my connection to the land is muffled by the structure I’m in. However, when I’m meditating out in nature, I feel more open to the energies of the Earth Mother and the wights. The best way I can really describe the sensation is that they feel “close.” The spirits are abundant, and the energies emanating from them and the land seem like a constant flow around me. Oftentimes I’ll get the sensation of a slight vibration in my hands and arms, and sometimes my head feels light and pleasant.

This was a peaceful and relaxing trip that left me feeling connected to the land and rejuvenated after a long day.

Shortly after soaking in the forest, I thanked Nerthus and the land wights for the experience, disposed of some trash I had found, and then left the park.

Meditation journal (9/17 – 9/22)

With only a few weeks left for the mental training aspect of my DP studies, I thought I’d mix it up and attempt some mental training methods I haven’t tried before. I’d like to do some advanced TP meditations, with the advanced portion coming from a more specific visualization based on symbols from my chosen hearth culture. I’d also like to include some prayer into the mix, as that is another avenue I’d like to explore, as well as continue to do my devotionals once a week. Finally, I’d like to do a oracle meditation where I draw a rune for advice on the coming week and meditate on the rune itself. I may try to slip in a more advanced form of trance in the “Passing the Mists” exercise, but we’ll see if I can allot the time and privacy for that. Also, there’s a new symbol next to one of the prayers that is (R). This means “room,” and denotes a mental training activity I choose to do in my bedroom when I’m unable to go before my shrine or head outdoors.

–

9/17 – Advanced TP (S)

For this TP meditation, I used some Norse-influence imagery provided to me by my mentor Jeremy. Although using the more complex imagery will take a little bit to get used to, I really enjoyed it. The goal here is to not only personalize my TP experience according to my hearth culture, but to increase my connection to it as well. I think I’m off to a good start, as the vision felt natural to me.

9/18 – Prayer (N)

When giving my offering to Nerthus and the land wights in the thicket I said a prayer to both of them. The results are in my week 29 DP journal post:

“I went to the thicket to give my offerings, but instead of saying a few words and giving my offerings, I did two spontaneous prayer of praise. One prayer was for Nerthus, and the other prayer was for the land wights. I spoke from my heart, calling to them to accept my offerings and praising them for all that they provide. The birds in the nests above my fluttered in response. These prayers really helped me focus on both the Earth Mother and the land wights. In a way, the prayers were like a sword cutting through my busy mind so that my attention was on them. The prayer also had the effect of heightening my awareness of the land wights and Nerthus for the duration of the trip. Indeed, I felt the buzzing energies of the forest around me, with the land wights and the Earth Mother at the top of my awareness.”

9/22 – Prayer (R)

I did a morning prayer and I spoke the words without a script, but from the heart instead. I started with some deep breathing to help me focus before the actual prayer, which helped do just that. I asked the Three Kindreds to be with me through this day as they are with me at my shrine during ritual, and I also asked the Earth Mother to uphold me during the day as well. Although I stumbled over and paused in search of words because the prayer was spontaneous, I really enjoy this focused communication with the Kindreds. When life gets hectic, I tend to get caught up in my own head and lose sight of the Kindreds. Prayer helps me to remain aware of their presence in my life.

–

I didn’t get to all of the mental training exercises I wanted to this week because it’s been a chaotic week in terms of some family issues. Since I did a High Day ritual this week, I also decided to pass on the devotional. I did what I could and sometimes that’s all you can really do. That being said, this coming week looks better and I’m excited to be trying some new things.

I want to make a correction to something I wrote last week. I mentioned that the TP meditation seems to work best for me in liminal times, like dawn or dusk, because one power doesn’t hold too much sway over the other. The more I think about this, the more it seems that I’m limiting myself too much in this area. The TP meditation can be effective at any time of the day, I may just have to switch the visualization up. For instance during the day, the sun can easily be used as the sky power, but in the evening or at night it’s also possible to use a star to signify the sky power. This way I can be flexible and have a visualization that works for me.

Dedicant Path: Week 29 – “Fifth High Day Recap”

High Day: Autumnal equinox

Date of ritual: September 19th, 2013

I performed the autumnal equinox ritual by myself using the ADF COoR. I honored Nerthus as the Earth Mother and Heimdall as the gatekeeper, with the cosmos being establish with Fire, Well, and Tree, as well as Land, Sea, and Sky. Freyr and Freyja were the deities of the occasion for their role in providing fertility and abundance on this second harvest High Day, with both being offered ale. The ritual went smoothly and the only issue I had was having to refill the drinking horn continuously for my libation offerings. This only interrupted the flow somewhat and wasn’t a major issue. I felt the Kindreds present in my ritual and I could feel their power through the gateway. In fact, it was so strong that shortly after giving my offering to Freyr and Freyja I felt a strong chill move through my body. I made sure to take my time with speaking the words of the liturgy, letting each part of the ritual sink in, and I felt this contributed to the effectiveness of the rite. Overall the ritual felt fairly basic, which isn’t a bad thing, but I feel I could add more to it. For example, I think a praise offering or a working could fill things out a bit more in a future ritual.

The runes I drew for the omen were Sowilo for the Ancestors, Ansuz for the Land Wights, and Uruz for the Deities. This was a resoundingly positive blessing and an unmistakable acceptance of my offerings. My interpretation of this blessing is that the sun has come out, giving me joy, hope, and illumination on the path ahead (Sowilo). This path will also bring me wisdom (Ansuz), but with a caution that I should be ready for the endeavors I choose to take on lest they get the best of me (Uruz). I’m coming out of a very challenging summer on a personal level, however despite the struggle the harvest has been very good to me. These challenges have brought me into the light of wisdom and hope, along with personal growth and happiness.

Nature awareness (continued):

The warmth of the late summer has returned and the air was humid after some storms moved through the area on my trip to Silver Lake.

I went to the thicket to give my offerings, but instead of saying a few words and giving my offerings, I did two spontaneous prayer of praise. One prayer was for Nerthus, and the other prayer was for the land wights. I spoke from my heart, calling to them to accept my offerings and praising them for all that they provide. The birds in the nests above my fluttered in response. These prayers really helped me focus on both the Earth Mother and the land wights. In a way, the prayers were like a sword cutting through my busy mind so that my attention was on them. The prayer also had the effect of heightening my awareness of the land wights and Nerthus for the duration of the trip. Indeed, I felt the buzzing energies of the forest around me, with the land wights and the Earth Mother at the top of my awareness.

After emerging from the thicket, I took to the paths to see what I could find and what changes I could observe. The berries that started with a dark purple color were nearly all red now. The acorns on the post oak were beginning to turn brown and harden. I went to inspect one and it broke off easily into my hand, so I thanked the oak for the gift that will find a place on my home shrine.

I then communed with the sweet gum trees, touching them, feeling their strength and calm. I sat and listened to the song of the cicadas, calming my thoughts and letting their sound rise and fall in my ears. It felt wonderful to sense the vibrations of life all around me, especially the land wights and the Earth Mother, as they resonated in the forest all around me. It was such a pleasant sensation that there were times when I felt like my head was swimming.

Darkness began to fall quickly, the persistent light of the summer evenings now finding itself almost equal with the darkness. I had to leave a bit earlier than I wanted to since I arrived at the park late, and I didn’t want to get caught out in the woods after dark. I thanked Nerthus and the land wights for the experience, disposed of some trash I had found, and then left the park.

Meditation journal (9/10 – 9/15)

9/10 – Two Powers (S)

Since the first time I performed the TP meditation, I have always felt a floating sensation when the earth power fills me completely. Today was no exception and it’s a feeling I always look forward to. The sky power ran through me like electricity and this feeling, while a relatively new sensation for me, is something I enjoy in its consistency. These physical sensations lend the TP meditation power and effectiveness for me.

9/11 – Walking meditation (N)

I did a 20 minute walking meditation at Silver Lake this evening. My results are in the nature awareness section of my week 28 DP journal post:

“I did a 20 minute walking meditation and it was similar to last visit in that I carried a bag to pick up trash, making that a part of the meditation. In fact, there was a good amount of trash on some of the more secluded trails. I had a good rhythm and focus as I cleaned the trails, sweat pouring down my face in the heat and humidity. It was cleansing, in a way. I continued my walk, letting the sounds of the forest surround and fill me. I focused on my movements and my mantra, but towards the end of the meditation I realized another good method of focus. In addition to feeling my movements and focusing on them, I could also focus on placing my feet as I walk across the ground. It’s something to consider, at least. Overall, this was a relaxing session.”

9/12 – Walking meditation (O)

Tried a new tactic for focus in which I became more aware of not only my movements, but of the sensation of my feet touching the ground. I also focused on placing my steps and that all worked for a short time. Eventually, I still found myself struggling to maintain that focus. Attempting to still my mind while in motion is challenging for me. I’m beginning to think that I’m trying too hard.

9/13 – Two Powers (O)

When merging the TP this morning, I was able to focus on the energies that course through my body for quite a bit of time. I felt luminous and whole, in touch with the cosmos while rooted to the Earth. When I performed this meditation, the sun was on the cusp of rising. Yet when the TP merged, my surroundings brightened as if the sun had peaked over the horizon. Personally, I feel that doing the TP at liminal times tends to be most effective, for one current doesn’t hold dominance over another. The meditation left me feeling relaxed, satisfied, grounded, and centered.

9/15 – Devotional (S)

Powerful devotional tonight. As the Kindreds gathered around my shrine, I could feel the waves of energy wash over me. Their presence was strong and I am grateful for that. I could also feel the gaze of Odin on me, although it’s hard to articulate what that was like. I’m sure by now Allfather knows that I am intrigued by him and that I seek a deeper relationship. I get the impression that he’s waiting for something. Perhaps waiting farther along on this path I am taking. Waiting until I gain the knowledge and experience necessary to handle his patronage.

–

Roughly a month left for my mental training on the Dedicant Path and I’d like to switch things up one last time as I head down the home stretch. I’ll leave the specifics at the beginning of the next entry, but I would like to deepen the work further. One idea I had was to make the Two Powers meditation more Norse-influenced so that I may strengthen the connection with my chosen hearth culture. I may also try some oracle meditation in which I pull a rune for the day and meditate on its meaning. Finally, I may try some deeper vision work in which I do the “Passing the Mists” exercise, but that’s an exercise where I’d require complete privacy, which is something I have to plan carefully.

I am discontinuing my walking meditation for now. While I had some good experiences with it, ultimately I don’t think it works for me at this time. I may do some further research to see if there’s a good technique out there that will ultimately work better for me. It just got frustrating the more I tried it and I don’t want to get to a point where I’m turned off by it completely. There are nice benefits to that type of meditation in that it’s a healthy activity, so I’m not willing to give up on it for good. It’s definitely something to come back to again in the future.

As a side note, I read an interesting thing on trance in that it’s mostly induced by repeated activities, like a thought or a sound. Perhaps that’s why they call it “basic trance” in the DP manual because the focus is on a repetitive count that draws me deeper into trance. That’s how I experienced it, at least.

Dedicant Path: Week 28 – “The Fifth High Holy Day: An Explanation”

High Day: Fall equinox (September 21st)

Summer has officially come to an end, and the fall equinox marks both the beginning of autumn and the waning portion of the year. The fall equinox is also the second harvest High Day in the Neo-Pagan wheel of the year and the balance between day and night is often acknowledged. The bounty of the land continues to be both gathered and shared among family, friends, and community. If Lughnasadh is the beginning of the harvest, then “the Autumn Equinox marks the completion of the harvest, and thanksgiving for abundance, with the emphasis on the future return of that abundance” (Farrar 117). As such, fertility deities are often honored on this day in thanks for their bounty. In a Norse context, Freyr is an obvious choice, while Idunna would be appropriate as well. According to Our Own Druidry “Thor and Sif are honored for their linkage to agriculture and the harvest” (67). This seemed like an odd combination to me at first glance, but I suppose it can be surmised that Thor represents the storm and rain that keep the fields fertile, while Sif represents the grain that benefits from the rain. It is also common on this High Day for a symbul to be held, during which “participants drink (alcohol or not, as their choice), toast each other and the Kindreds, and boast of their past deeds and accomplishments yet to come” (“Gleichentag Rituals”).

The fall equinox begins a time of reflection for me. As the vibrant energies of summer begin to decline, I often feel a sense of relief as things begin to settle down. I look forward to seeing the leaves turn colors and the land begin to change in preparation for winter. As folks turn to the rake to clear their lawns, I savor the smell of burning leaves that fills the air. It is a sign of the season and reminds me that this is a time of family and thanksgiving not only for what I have, but what I have accomplished over the course of the year.

Works cited:

Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship.  Our Own Druidry: an introduction to Ár nDraíocht Féin and the Druid Path.  Tucson: ADF Publishing, 2009.  Print

Farrar, Janet and Stewart Farrar.  Eight Sabbats for Witches. London: Robert Hale, 1981.  Print.

“Gleichentag Rituals.”  Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship.  Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship, n.d.  Web.  14 September 2013.

Nature awareness (continued):

On my way to Silver Lake for my weekly nature awareness trip, I noticed that the corn stalks in the fields are beginning to turn yellow, which means that they are on the cusp of being harvested. Once I arrived at the lake, I stepped out into what had to be one of the hottest days of summer. The air was thick with humidity and there was not much of a breeze to help bring some relief from the heat.

I proceeded to the thicket to give my offering of cornmeal to Nerthus and bread for the land wights. As I exited the thicket, the shadows were long upon the grass and over the forest. The sun is setting earlier, and although the leaves have yet to change their shade, this is one of the first signs that autumn is upon us.

I walked the paths to observe the wild around me. A squirrel, carrying food in its mouth, ran along the trail. I also noticed that most of the purple berries had been picked clean from their stems. Another kind of berry, which started out a dark purple color (almost brown), was starting to ripen into a beautiful shade of red. I didn’t see anymore plums and I’m guessing that they too have been picked clean, much like the purple berries. The large acorns hanging from the post oak were still green, but I can imagine that it won’t be long until they turn brown and harden.

As I made my way to my spot, I caught a glimpse of the moon over the treetops and I gazed at the silver sliver in the sky for a moment. As much as I am a child of the Earth, celestial objects bring an almost equal sense of awe to me as well. Then I stepped over towards the sweet gum trees to commune with them. I touched their trunks and asked for their strength and calm, which the trees were happy to give.

Afterwards, I sat in my spot and listened to the buzz of the cicadas. People I know tend to think that the sound they make is annoying, but to me it’s almost like a song. As I listened, their buzzing would speed up and slow down in regular intervals. If you listened close enough, sometimes you heard new sounds within their song as other cicadas added something different in the mix. It was quite a beautiful experience.

I did a 20 minute walking meditation and it was similar to last visit in that I carried a bag to pick up trash, making that a part of the meditation. In fact, there was a good amount of trash on some of the more secluded trails. I had a good rhythm and focus as I cleaned the trails, sweat pouring down my face in the heat and humidity. It was cleansing, in a way. I continued my walk, letting the sounds of the forest surround and fill me. I focused on my movements and my mantra, but towards the end of the meditation I realized another good method of focus. In addition to feeling my movements and focusing on them, I could also focus on placing my feet as I walk across the ground. It’s something to consider, at least. Overall, this was a relaxing session.

Once I was finished with my walking meditaton, I thanked Nerthus and the land wights for the experience. As I was walking back to my car, I caught a glimpse of the brilliant orange sun as it was setting across the lake and I savored the moment. With summer swiftly coming to a close, it was a fitting end to the trip. I disposed of the trash I had picked up, then left the park.

Meditation journal (9/3 – 9/8)

9/3 – Two Powers (S)

Used my short chant beforehand to get focused and it worked really well. Perhaps I can use something like that to help get focused at the beginning of other types of meditation. Sky power felt electric as it moved through me. It was a powerful sensation and I’m glad  that I’m feeling it as intensely as I have the earth power (sometimes in the past it seemed like I felt earth power more strongly). When the TP merged, I felt empowered and relaxed, ready to start my day.

9/4 – Walking meditation (N)

I did a 20 minute walking meditation at Silver Lake this evening. My results are in the nature awareness section of my week 27 DP journal post:

“Shortly after sitting in my spot, I did a 20 minute walking meditation. I established a good rhythm, focusing on my movements as my legs carried me along the paths. As I was walking I kept seeing trash on the trails. Rather than leave it, I decided to incorporate the disposal of the trash into my walking meditation, which worked out very well. I was a tender of the paths, walking through the woods and caring for it, while being aware of the forest and life all around me. It was a fantastic feeling! My mind started to get distracted by errant thoughts, so I used my left foot/right foot mantra to help me stay focused which was successful. As I walked, I began to drift into a meditative state, and it was along the path that I felt a keen sense of the earth goddess. It almost sounded like she was laughing in the forest. There was a beautiful quality to that moment that is hard to articulate. It was fleeting and mysterious, and I long to hear it again someday.”

9/5 – Two Powers (S)

Used chant before starting to help me focus and again it was very helpful with that. Felt the dark, mysterious waters fill me and the radiant, ordering light shine in me. I felt luminous and whole. Woke up this morning feeling a bit anxious, but the TP washed it away, leaving me calm and relaxed. While the earth power is chaotic potential, the sky power is a guiding light, showing the way and manifesting all things that it illuminates. Have also noticed that the TP meditation stimulates my creativity as well. Understanding it and thinking about it seems to drive me to write about it poetically.

9/7 – Walking meditation (O)

Challenging session today. Had a hard time staying focused and it was tough to even stay focused on my mantra as well. Still enjoyed the time outdoors and I lightly treaded on a meditative state a couple of times. Enjoyed feeling the sun on my back as I walked. A lot going on along the street I walked, so that could have affected my focus as well. Made the best of it. Sometimes it’s all you can do!

9/8 – Devotional (S)

Devotional went very smoothly.  My visualizations were very vivid which really helped in bringing the presence of the Three Kindreds to my shrine. Sensed an urging from the Kindreds which I interpreted as their desire to see me continuing to deepen my work with them and within Druidry. It’s a reassuring feeling and shows that I’m on the right path for me. Devotional left me feeling relaxed, empowered, and ready to begin my day.

Dedicant Path: Week 27 – “The Nine Virtues: Integrity”

Integrity

Dedicant Path manual definition:

Honor; being true to one’s self and to others, involving oath-keeping, honesty, fairness, respect and self confidence

Dictionary.com definition:

1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.
3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship’s hull.

Within personal relationships, integrity is being honest and fair, one who keeps their word to another and honors those agreements by following through. This fosters trustworthiness and credibility, often the hallmark of a strong individual. Integrity is being true to oneself and true to others, and holding to one’s principles and values. While the social aspects of integrity are often emphasized, it’s important to note that it also includes the physical realm as well. To have integrity in body is to be discerning in what is healthy to eat, as well as maintaining the physical body through exercise in order to stay healthy. Integrity touches all aspects of life and is ultimately about being a complete person socially, mentally, physically, and spiritually. By keeping all of these things strong and in balance makes the goal of living a good and fulfilling life a reality.

Integrity is an incredibly important virtue to have in ADF. The path of Druidry is about honoring the Kindreds and the Earth, but it is also about the path to become a better human being. Integrity lays a strong foundation for human behavior and works remarkably well with the other eight virtues by lending additional strength to each of them. While the dictionary definition of integrity works, I prefer the ADF definition because it is a more complete view of the virtue. I think it would be an even better definition if the physical aspect of integrity was mentioned, thus covering all parts of life that are touched by the virtue.

Nature awareness (continued):

The temperature was a bit cooler on my nature awareness trip to Silver Lake on Wednesday evening, which means fall is drawing closer. Thankfully, we’re only a couple of weeks away from the beginning of autumn and I’m happy for the change!

I gave my offering of cornmeal to Nerthus and wheat bread to the land wights in the thicket. On my way out, I noticed a spider sitting in its intricate web and I stood to observe it for a few moments. It sat in wait for its next meal and I wonder now if it feels the coming changes in the season. I also wonder if it knows that its life is drawing to a close as the season turns to much colder temperatures.

After emerging from the thicket, I browsed the trails to observe the forest around me. The sounds of the cicadas swarmed the wooded area, emitting a high pitched buzz wherever I went. It was almost hypnotic, in a way. I saw the cluster of berries and more were ripening into the deep purple color. I also saw other types of berries. Some were brown in color and others were still green. I look forward to seeing which color they will end up being when they become ripe. I walked by a post oak and noticed the big, beautiful acorns on the branches. They were green and still soft to the touch. I went looking for the plum trees, but the ones I typically checked on were bare. I also noticed that some of the purple berries nearby were missing as well. I’m guessing some kind of animal came by to grab the fruit to store of for winter, but I’m not entirely certain. It was still a bit odd to see them missing. For the most part, most of the trees were still full and green.

A little while later, I wandered to my spot and sat, listening and observing the land around me. The cicadas were relentless in their high pitched drone. I gazed at the sweet gum tree that sits across the path from where I sat and pondered its life cycle. I noticed that some of its leaves were beginning to turn yellow and I wondered about when the gumballs would eventually dry up and release its seed. Time will tell, for sure. I also thought about how I’ve become close to the sweet gum tree and all the trees around me, for that matter. Developing a relationship with the land has been incredibly fulfilling physically and spiritually. I don’t think I could, or would want to, stop what I’ve started with my visits to connect with nature. There is great wisdom in the trees, for the tale of the tree is the tale of life. While pondering this, I discovered why I enjoyed listening to the sound of the wind moving through the trees so much. Its because the wind lends the trees their voice. In a way, I can hear them talking, imparting their wisdom for those who will stop and listen.

Shortly after sitting in my spot, I did a 20 minute walking meditation. I established a good rhythm, focusing on my movements as my legs carried me along the paths. As I was walking I kept seeing trash on the trails. Rather than leave it, I decided to incorporate the disposal of the trash into my walking meditation, which worked out very well. I was a tender of the paths, walking through the woods and caring for it, while being aware of the forest and life all around me. It was a fantastic feeling! My mind started to get distracted by errant thoughts, so I used my left foot/right foot mantra to help me stay focused which was successful. As I walked, I began to drift into a meditative state, and it was along the path that I felt a keen sense of the earth goddess. It almost sounded like she was laughing in the forest. There was a beautiful quality to that moment that is hard to articulate. It was fleeting and mysterious, and I long to hear it again someday.

I ended my meditation, feeling joy from the experiences I had. I thanked the land wights and Nerthus for the experience. Out of all this time coming to the park, I have yet to thank the Earth Mother until now. How I could forget such a thing like that is beyond me, but that changes from this day forward. Perhaps me hearing her laughter was the earth goddess’ way of bringing herself fully into my awareness. It’s something that I’ll never forget. I pitched the trash I had found in a trash container and left the park.

Meditation journal (8/27 – 9/1)

8/27 – Two Powers (S)

Felt very focused in this TP session. Was able to dismiss thoughts with ease and concentrate on my visualizations, which were vivid. As the sky power illuminated me, it felt almost like electricity moving down my body. It was a very interesting sensation and one I’ve never felt before. Again, sky power felt warm today.

8/28 – Walking meditation (O)

I think I made some progress with this meditation this evening. For one, I walked for a longer period of time (about 20-25 min). Focusing on sidewalk in front of me somewhere between horizon and my feet helped too. Felt my movements and watched the ground move beneath me, surrounded by the high-pitched buzz of cicadas, the air thick with humidity. Although I had issues with engaging thoughts, I still had a deeply satisfying experience. I dropped into the “zone” several times and was moving in the moment. Left me feeling very relaxed.

8/29 – Walking meditation (O)

It was an incredibly humid night for a walking meditation, but I thought it would bring a little something extra to the session, which it did. Focusing on my legs as they moved helped to establish my meditative state rather quickly. Thoughts were hard to pass by, so I started a mantra in my head calling out which foot hit the ground as it did so. This helped to focus me. As I walked in a focused rhythm, with sweat dripping down my face, I felt free. Meditation is freedom. In that present moment, it’s just me, the sidewalk, and the night around me. By the end, I was beginning to slip down into a trance-like state, which I need to be especially careful of when walking next to a road. Thankfully, my timer brought me back, but I wouldn’t mind exploring that sensation on a safer path.

8/30 – Two Powers (O)

This morning, instead of using my own pole star as a representation of the sky power, I used the sun. The effect was quite intense as the bright, illuminating light filled me. It still felt orderly, but not as precise as the light from the star, which didn’t surprise me. Mosquitoes were very distracting this morning as they bit me, but otherwise a grounding and centering that was satisfying. Would like to return to counted breaths before TP to focus my mind a little better.

9/1 – Devotional (S)

Devotional went very well and smooth from beginning to end. I felt focused and relaxed which also helped. Interesting to note that when I visualized the gods and goddesses appearing before me, and I saw Odin in particular, my candles sputtered for a brief moment. Shortly after giving my offerings to the Three Kindreds, the air around my shrine and myself felt charged with energy. As I give to them, I continue to feel my relationship with them growing. Not only that, I also feel my connection to the Three (Nine?) Realms and the cosmos growing as well.

–

Six more weeks of journaling for my mental training left until I write my final essay on it. I can’t believe I’m that close to finishing the requirement! Although I will continue to meditate after my required time has ended, I don’t think I’ll be keeping a regular journal on my meditation. I think I’ll only use it if something important happens or I make a breakthrough of some kind. Journaling after every session just seems a bit tedious, although I’ve learned quite a bit from it. I’m going to continue with these meditation methods for a couple more week before trying some advanced techniques.

This week, I learned a bit about the difference between meditation and trance. While I believed them to be almost interchangeable, I’ve learned that this isn’t an entirely accurate way to approach it. Meditation is a focused awareness in order to contemplate a thought or to still the mind, whereas trance takes one into a deeper state within themselves where contact with the Otherworlds and journeying are possible. Typically, a meditation I have performed has lead me into trance, but not the other way around. To me, trance is a deeper aspect of meditation. The way I look at it is that meditation is a deep pool and the various methods exist at various depths of the pool depending on
the involvement of the method. Obviously forms of focusing and stillness exist towards the surface, where trance and ecstatic experiences exist deeper in the pool, going further down as one plunges deeper into oneself. It could also be possible that contact with the Otherworld gets easier the deeper one goes, although I don’t have much experience in this area. It’s important to note that the depth of each method doesn’t categorize them by importance. They are all important and useful depending on what one is trying to achieve.

Progress Report: Halfway Point

There was a gap in the WOTY study guide for this week, so I decided to take a week off from my studies, although I did continue my meditations as normal. Here’s some short thoughts as I hit the halfway point:

So, here I am halfway through the Wheel of the Year Dedicant Path study program. Looking back, I’ve come a long way and have learned so much in the process. I’m really excited where this path is taking me. As each day passes and with each completed assignment, it’s becoming more and more evident that the path of Druidry is the path that I’ve been looking for. It has also become clear that ADF is the organization I’ve been looking for that upholds high academic standards, but allows for the experiential exploration I desire. I’m very happy with where I’m at right now. Not only have a grown spiritually since the beginning of the program, I’ve grown in knowledge that I feel is vital to have as a Neo-Pagan.

In regards to my practice, there is an aspect that isn’t really working for me anymore and I’d like to change. After some thought, I will no longer listen for a response whenever I give an offering during my nature awareness trips or during my devotionals at my shrine. While I feel like I’ve gotten some legitimate responses, there are times I felt like I was stretching. I think it leaves too much open for interpretation and there are times that I may be hearing what I want to hear. If there is an instance where I’d like to know if an offering is accepted, I will draw an omen. To me, this feels more substantial and it gives me an independent result apart from my own intuition. However, in the instances of offerings given to land wights during my nature awareness trip or given to the Kindreds during devotional, I feel that it’s important to just give. I think it’s okay to leave the answers to the High Day rituals or the rituals centered around the taking of an omen.