Dedicant Path: Week 31 – “The Three Kindred: Nature Spirits”

When I first started the nature awareness portion of the Dedicant Path, it first started as a strictly physical observation of the land around me and my relationship towards it. However, very quickly it became an exercise in not only knowing the physical side of things, but the spiritual as well. Early on in my trips to Silver Lake, I felt it was the right thing to do to start leaving offerings for the land wights. I have been leaving regular offerings to this day. The rationale for this is simple in that I am a guest in their home. Not only are my offerings a token of my respect for the land wights (and the Earth Mother), but they are also an attempt to build a closer relationship with them. What started as a purely physical interaction with the natural world evolved into a spiritual awareness of the spirits of the land, but it didn’t stop there. Now, it is a fully integrated relationship in which these two aspects of interaction are now one and awareness has translated into action. Whenever I take my trips to Silver Lake, I bring along a bag to pick up trash along the trails in order to take care of the land. I have also made an effort to increase my knowledge of nature by bringing along pocket guides to help in my identification of plants. If I am going to befriend the land and its denizens on a physical and spiritual level, I feel that these efforts are crucial in building that relationship. I feel that these efforts haven’t gone unnoticed and I’ve had some rather interesting responses to my prayers and offerings, from birds crying out to me from above while making my prayers to gusts of wind that have passed over my area of the forest shortly after making my offerings.

In my attempts to connect with the land through offerings and prayer, I have come into contact with some of these spirits. They have remained formless to me, like a presence that moves under the canopy of the trees and who make their homes in the deep, tangled underbrush. One such spirit has made itself known to me in the form of the sweet gum tree. It was a relationship that formed unexpectedly. On one of my trips, I was attempting to find a symbol of the land wights to include on my home shrine. While pondering this, I approached the spot I use for observation to find a gumball, in nearly perfect shape, sitting on the bench where I normally sit. Throughout my life, and all of the places that I’ve lived, I can always remember that particular tree for its unique fruit. It has been in nearly every location I’ve lived in and it struck me that this tree has been like a guardian to me, watching me as I’ve grown up. Now, as I reach out to the land, it has made itself known to me. I now regularly commune with the tree on my trips, meditating under its branches, touching, and feeling its energy.

My interactions with the land wights haven’t always been good. I remember one time I found a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest. It had no feathers and was craning its neck awaiting food it desperately needed. Thankfully I had my phone on me and I was able to look up a correct course of action. This turned out to be, in fact, nothing. There was nothing I could do to help and my intervention could actually threaten the life of the bird. Hopefully the mother bird was around and would come to take care of the baby, but it was pretty heartbreaking. I learned a lesson from the land wights that day that sometimes nature must take its course, one way or another, even if it seemed cruel. Nature can be a soothing and healing force, but it can also be unpleasant and unpredictable.

Regardless of my experiences, which are pleasant for the most part, I always thank the land wights and the Earth Mother (Nerthus, in my case) after each visit. This brings every trip full circle, in which thanks and praise are given at the beginning with offerings, and thanks are given at the conclusion of the trip for the experiences I have had during my time at the park. As we greet friends when we see them and then say our goodbyes when we part, this is another aspect in building that relationship with the land wights. I think it’s also important to note that while Nerthus may be an Earth Goddess and not necessarily a land wight, without her there would be no land for the spirits to reside in, and no proper order for them to maintain. Her existence and presence is tied to the existence of the land wights, and I believe there to be some overlap between the two (also when it comes to river goddesses, regional land goddesses that folks may honor), so I think it’s proper to include her in some degree when discussing and honoring the land spirits.

Nature awareness (continued):

On my way to Silver Lake for my weekly nature awareness trip, I noticed that more of the corn fields have been harvested. It was a cloudy and cool trip. The leaves on the trees are slowly beginning to change their colors. I even saw one on the ground that was a brilliant shade of red.

I made my offering to Nerthus and the land wights in the thicket and said a spontaneous prayer to both, praising them and calling them to accept my offerings. As I was making my prayer to Nerthus, a bird cried loudly in the trees above me. When making my prayer to the land wights, it sounded like a whole flock took to the air above me. I was somewhat distracted by some people traveling in the woods nearby, so I stumbled a bit in my prayers, but I’m happy with the response. It may have been because the people were walking nearby, but deep down I felt that this wasn’t entirely the case. While I like spontaneous prayer ,I would like to try a written prayer so that I can say my words without having to search for them so much.

I took to the trails soon after, feeling the cool air as I observed the forest around me. I watched a rabbit bound up the trail ahead of me, frightened by my movements. I began to notice more leaves on the ground, as they have begun to fall from the trees.

I sat in my spot for a little bit. The forest was quiet around me, which is quite a change from the past couple trips. As I listened to the land around me, I could hear the unmistakable sound of a train whistle in the distance. I couldn’t help but notice how discordant the sound was a opposed to my quiet, natural surroundings. There were more people at the lake today and I must admit that I was trying to avoid them. I like my time in nature to be between myself, the land wights, and the Earth Mother alone, but I do realize this can’t always be helped. People are a part of nature too. I just feel that sometimes when I can hear them hooting and hollering that it’s a bit disrespectful in some ways. I’ve been trying to reconcile this feeling, and most people I see along the trails seem friendly, but my reveries tend to get disrupted when a group of loud teenagers come through the area. Perhaps that’s where some of my resentment lies.

Soon after, I communed with the sweet gum, asking the tree to lend me its strength and patience for all facets of my life. I even went to check on the oak with the large acorns and discovered that they appeared to have been taken, perhaps by the critters to store up for winter. It’s starting to get darker much earlier, so I decided to head back to my car and call it a night.

I disposed of some trash I had found, thanked the land wights and Nerthus for the experience, then departed.

Meditation journal (9/24 – 9/29)

9/24 – Advanced TP (S)

The Norse imagery I use now in my TP meditation continues to be effective. I’m happy that the basic imagery has transitioned so smoothly to the more personalized imagery, which leads me to believe that this is a natural evolution of my TP practice. Not only was it satisfying in the overall purpose of the meditation, it is helping me grow closer to Odin due to his ravens, wolves, and his own presence being used in the vision. This had made the TP more well-rounded for me in that it fulfills my needs cosmologically, within my hearth culture, and including my growing relationship with deity.

9/25 – Prayer (N)

When giving my offering to Nerthus and the land wights in the thicket I said a prayer to both of them. The results are in my week 30 DP journal post:

“I went to the thicket to give my offerings to Nerthus and the land wights and I said a prayer to both of them. Each were spontaneous prayers in which I called to them to accept my offerings and then I praised them for all that they do for the world. Like the previous week, this had the effect of bringing both the land wights and the Earth Mother to the top of my awareness for the entire trip. Although I had normal thoughts while walking, as we all do naturally, I still felt focused on the land around me and the beings behind it. The prayers gave me a sense of calm that allowed the presence of the land wights and Nerthus to be felt. This manifested in that buzz of energy I felt as I walked through the forest.”

9/26 – Oracle meditation (S)

This morning I draw a rune to respond to my question: “What advice do you give me for the week?” The rune I pulled was Laguz. I than did some deep breathing and meditated on the meaning of this rune, turning the symbol over in my head. What I gathered from the drawing was the be flexible, to move with the currents that life brings, and to embrace these changes in life. I visualized myself by a large stream, with the rune etched into a stone next to the stream. I walked into the cool waters, letting them flow around me and carry me away. It was a peaceful experience, but I was aware that water can be chaotic too. By moving with it though, this chaos can be mitigated.

9/28 – Devotional (S)

Devotional went very smoothly and I think I’m getting the hang of how the flow of a devotional should go. This will serve me well when I start to write my own. Power from the Hallows and the presence of the Three Kindreds were felt at my shrine during the devotional. Sometimes just maintaining my connection with the Kindreds is fulfilling enough for me. In the past, it seemed like sometimes I was searching for that huge, profound moment, when it’s really the smaller moments that can be just as rewarding.

9/29 – Advanced TP (O)

Thank the gods for the TP meditation. It’s been an incredibly rough afternoon, and I was in dire need of some relief. This TP meditation provided that relief as I performed it at the base of the tree in the backyard as the sun began to dip in the late afternoon. The Norse imagery I’m using was vivid, which really brought those elements to life. It was relaxing and helped to calm down my frayed emotions. Another clear example of how balancing this meditation can be.

Meditation journal (9/17 – 9/22)

With only a few weeks left for the mental training aspect of my DP studies, I thought I’d mix it up and attempt some mental training methods I haven’t tried before. I’d like to do some advanced TP meditations, with the advanced portion coming from a more specific visualization based on symbols from my chosen hearth culture. I’d also like to include some prayer into the mix, as that is another avenue I’d like to explore, as well as continue to do my devotionals once a week. Finally, I’d like to do a oracle meditation where I draw a rune for advice on the coming week and meditate on the rune itself. I may try to slip in a more advanced form of trance in the “Passing the Mists” exercise, but we’ll see if I can allot the time and privacy for that. Also, there’s a new symbol next to one of the prayers that is (R). This means “room,” and denotes a mental training activity I choose to do in my bedroom when I’m unable to go before my shrine or head outdoors.

–

9/17 – Advanced TP (S)

For this TP meditation, I used some Norse-influence imagery provided to me by my mentor Jeremy. Although using the more complex imagery will take a little bit to get used to, I really enjoyed it. The goal here is to not only personalize my TP experience according to my hearth culture, but to increase my connection to it as well. I think I’m off to a good start, as the vision felt natural to me.

9/18 – Prayer (N)

When giving my offering to Nerthus and the land wights in the thicket I said a prayer to both of them. The results are in my week 29 DP journal post:

“I went to the thicket to give my offerings, but instead of saying a few words and giving my offerings, I did two spontaneous prayer of praise. One prayer was for Nerthus, and the other prayer was for the land wights. I spoke from my heart, calling to them to accept my offerings and praising them for all that they provide. The birds in the nests above my fluttered in response. These prayers really helped me focus on both the Earth Mother and the land wights. In a way, the prayers were like a sword cutting through my busy mind so that my attention was on them. The prayer also had the effect of heightening my awareness of the land wights and Nerthus for the duration of the trip. Indeed, I felt the buzzing energies of the forest around me, with the land wights and the Earth Mother at the top of my awareness.”

9/22 – Prayer (R)

I did a morning prayer and I spoke the words without a script, but from the heart instead. I started with some deep breathing to help me focus before the actual prayer, which helped do just that. I asked the Three Kindreds to be with me through this day as they are with me at my shrine during ritual, and I also asked the Earth Mother to uphold me during the day as well. Although I stumbled over and paused in search of words because the prayer was spontaneous, I really enjoy this focused communication with the Kindreds. When life gets hectic, I tend to get caught up in my own head and lose sight of the Kindreds. Prayer helps me to remain aware of their presence in my life.

–

I didn’t get to all of the mental training exercises I wanted to this week because it’s been a chaotic week in terms of some family issues. Since I did a High Day ritual this week, I also decided to pass on the devotional. I did what I could and sometimes that’s all you can really do. That being said, this coming week looks better and I’m excited to be trying some new things.

I want to make a correction to something I wrote last week. I mentioned that the TP meditation seems to work best for me in liminal times, like dawn or dusk, because one power doesn’t hold too much sway over the other. The more I think about this, the more it seems that I’m limiting myself too much in this area. The TP meditation can be effective at any time of the day, I may just have to switch the visualization up. For instance during the day, the sun can easily be used as the sky power, but in the evening or at night it’s also possible to use a star to signify the sky power. This way I can be flexible and have a visualization that works for me.

Dedicant Path: Week 29 – “Fifth High Day Recap”

High Day: Autumnal equinox

Date of ritual: September 19th, 2013

I performed the autumnal equinox ritual by myself using the ADF COoR. I honored Nerthus as the Earth Mother and Heimdall as the gatekeeper, with the cosmos being establish with Fire, Well, and Tree, as well as Land, Sea, and Sky. Freyr and Freyja were the deities of the occasion for their role in providing fertility and abundance on this second harvest High Day, with both being offered ale. The ritual went smoothly and the only issue I had was having to refill the drinking horn continuously for my libation offerings. This only interrupted the flow somewhat and wasn’t a major issue. I felt the Kindreds present in my ritual and I could feel their power through the gateway. In fact, it was so strong that shortly after giving my offering to Freyr and Freyja I felt a strong chill move through my body. I made sure to take my time with speaking the words of the liturgy, letting each part of the ritual sink in, and I felt this contributed to the effectiveness of the rite. Overall the ritual felt fairly basic, which isn’t a bad thing, but I feel I could add more to it. For example, I think a praise offering or a working could fill things out a bit more in a future ritual.

The runes I drew for the omen were Sowilo for the Ancestors, Ansuz for the Land Wights, and Uruz for the Deities. This was a resoundingly positive blessing and an unmistakable acceptance of my offerings. My interpretation of this blessing is that the sun has come out, giving me joy, hope, and illumination on the path ahead (Sowilo). This path will also bring me wisdom (Ansuz), but with a caution that I should be ready for the endeavors I choose to take on lest they get the best of me (Uruz). I’m coming out of a very challenging summer on a personal level, however despite the struggle the harvest has been very good to me. These challenges have brought me into the light of wisdom and hope, along with personal growth and happiness.

Nature awareness (continued):

The warmth of the late summer has returned and the air was humid after some storms moved through the area on my trip to Silver Lake.

I went to the thicket to give my offerings, but instead of saying a few words and giving my offerings, I did two spontaneous prayer of praise. One prayer was for Nerthus, and the other prayer was for the land wights. I spoke from my heart, calling to them to accept my offerings and praising them for all that they provide. The birds in the nests above my fluttered in response. These prayers really helped me focus on both the Earth Mother and the land wights. In a way, the prayers were like a sword cutting through my busy mind so that my attention was on them. The prayer also had the effect of heightening my awareness of the land wights and Nerthus for the duration of the trip. Indeed, I felt the buzzing energies of the forest around me, with the land wights and the Earth Mother at the top of my awareness.

After emerging from the thicket, I took to the paths to see what I could find and what changes I could observe. The berries that started with a dark purple color were nearly all red now. The acorns on the post oak were beginning to turn brown and harden. I went to inspect one and it broke off easily into my hand, so I thanked the oak for the gift that will find a place on my home shrine.

I then communed with the sweet gum trees, touching them, feeling their strength and calm. I sat and listened to the song of the cicadas, calming my thoughts and letting their sound rise and fall in my ears. It felt wonderful to sense the vibrations of life all around me, especially the land wights and the Earth Mother, as they resonated in the forest all around me. It was such a pleasant sensation that there were times when I felt like my head was swimming.

Darkness began to fall quickly, the persistent light of the summer evenings now finding itself almost equal with the darkness. I had to leave a bit earlier than I wanted to since I arrived at the park late, and I didn’t want to get caught out in the woods after dark. I thanked Nerthus and the land wights for the experience, disposed of some trash I had found, and then left the park.

Meditation journal (9/10 – 9/15)

9/10 – Two Powers (S)

Since the first time I performed the TP meditation, I have always felt a floating sensation when the earth power fills me completely. Today was no exception and it’s a feeling I always look forward to. The sky power ran through me like electricity and this feeling, while a relatively new sensation for me, is something I enjoy in its consistency. These physical sensations lend the TP meditation power and effectiveness for me.

9/11 – Walking meditation (N)

I did a 20 minute walking meditation at Silver Lake this evening. My results are in the nature awareness section of my week 28 DP journal post:

“I did a 20 minute walking meditation and it was similar to last visit in that I carried a bag to pick up trash, making that a part of the meditation. In fact, there was a good amount of trash on some of the more secluded trails. I had a good rhythm and focus as I cleaned the trails, sweat pouring down my face in the heat and humidity. It was cleansing, in a way. I continued my walk, letting the sounds of the forest surround and fill me. I focused on my movements and my mantra, but towards the end of the meditation I realized another good method of focus. In addition to feeling my movements and focusing on them, I could also focus on placing my feet as I walk across the ground. It’s something to consider, at least. Overall, this was a relaxing session.”

9/12 – Walking meditation (O)

Tried a new tactic for focus in which I became more aware of not only my movements, but of the sensation of my feet touching the ground. I also focused on placing my steps and that all worked for a short time. Eventually, I still found myself struggling to maintain that focus. Attempting to still my mind while in motion is challenging for me. I’m beginning to think that I’m trying too hard.

9/13 – Two Powers (O)

When merging the TP this morning, I was able to focus on the energies that course through my body for quite a bit of time. I felt luminous and whole, in touch with the cosmos while rooted to the Earth. When I performed this meditation, the sun was on the cusp of rising. Yet when the TP merged, my surroundings brightened as if the sun had peaked over the horizon. Personally, I feel that doing the TP at liminal times tends to be most effective, for one current doesn’t hold dominance over another. The meditation left me feeling relaxed, satisfied, grounded, and centered.

9/15 – Devotional (S)

Powerful devotional tonight. As the Kindreds gathered around my shrine, I could feel the waves of energy wash over me. Their presence was strong and I am grateful for that. I could also feel the gaze of Odin on me, although it’s hard to articulate what that was like. I’m sure by now Allfather knows that I am intrigued by him and that I seek a deeper relationship. I get the impression that he’s waiting for something. Perhaps waiting farther along on this path I am taking. Waiting until I gain the knowledge and experience necessary to handle his patronage.

–

Roughly a month left for my mental training on the Dedicant Path and I’d like to switch things up one last time as I head down the home stretch. I’ll leave the specifics at the beginning of the next entry, but I would like to deepen the work further. One idea I had was to make the Two Powers meditation more Norse-influenced so that I may strengthen the connection with my chosen hearth culture. I may also try some oracle meditation in which I pull a rune for the day and meditate on its meaning. Finally, I may try some deeper vision work in which I do the “Passing the Mists” exercise, but that’s an exercise where I’d require complete privacy, which is something I have to plan carefully.

I am discontinuing my walking meditation for now. While I had some good experiences with it, ultimately I don’t think it works for me at this time. I may do some further research to see if there’s a good technique out there that will ultimately work better for me. It just got frustrating the more I tried it and I don’t want to get to a point where I’m turned off by it completely. There are nice benefits to that type of meditation in that it’s a healthy activity, so I’m not willing to give up on it for good. It’s definitely something to come back to again in the future.

As a side note, I read an interesting thing on trance in that it’s mostly induced by repeated activities, like a thought or a sound. Perhaps that’s why they call it “basic trance” in the DP manual because the focus is on a repetitive count that draws me deeper into trance. That’s how I experienced it, at least.

Dedicant Path: Week 28 – “The Fifth High Holy Day: An Explanation”

High Day: Fall equinox (September 21st)

Summer has officially come to an end, and the fall equinox marks both the beginning of autumn and the waning portion of the year. The fall equinox is also the second harvest High Day in the Neo-Pagan wheel of the year and the balance between day and night is often acknowledged. The bounty of the land continues to be both gathered and shared among family, friends, and community. If Lughnasadh is the beginning of the harvest, then “the Autumn Equinox marks the completion of the harvest, and thanksgiving for abundance, with the emphasis on the future return of that abundance” (Farrar 117). As such, fertility deities are often honored on this day in thanks for their bounty. In a Norse context, Freyr is an obvious choice, while Idunna would be appropriate as well. According to Our Own Druidry “Thor and Sif are honored for their linkage to agriculture and the harvest” (67). This seemed like an odd combination to me at first glance, but I suppose it can be surmised that Thor represents the storm and rain that keep the fields fertile, while Sif represents the grain that benefits from the rain. It is also common on this High Day for a symbul to be held, during which “participants drink (alcohol or not, as their choice), toast each other and the Kindreds, and boast of their past deeds and accomplishments yet to come” (“Gleichentag Rituals”).

The fall equinox begins a time of reflection for me. As the vibrant energies of summer begin to decline, I often feel a sense of relief as things begin to settle down. I look forward to seeing the leaves turn colors and the land begin to change in preparation for winter. As folks turn to the rake to clear their lawns, I savor the smell of burning leaves that fills the air. It is a sign of the season and reminds me that this is a time of family and thanksgiving not only for what I have, but what I have accomplished over the course of the year.

Works cited:

Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship.  Our Own Druidry: an introduction to Ár nDraíocht Féin and the Druid Path.  Tucson: ADF Publishing, 2009.  Print

Farrar, Janet and Stewart Farrar.  Eight Sabbats for Witches. London: Robert Hale, 1981.  Print.

“Gleichentag Rituals.”  Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship.  Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship, n.d.  Web.  14 September 2013.

Nature awareness (continued):

On my way to Silver Lake for my weekly nature awareness trip, I noticed that the corn stalks in the fields are beginning to turn yellow, which means that they are on the cusp of being harvested. Once I arrived at the lake, I stepped out into what had to be one of the hottest days of summer. The air was thick with humidity and there was not much of a breeze to help bring some relief from the heat.

I proceeded to the thicket to give my offering of cornmeal to Nerthus and bread for the land wights. As I exited the thicket, the shadows were long upon the grass and over the forest. The sun is setting earlier, and although the leaves have yet to change their shade, this is one of the first signs that autumn is upon us.

I walked the paths to observe the wild around me. A squirrel, carrying food in its mouth, ran along the trail. I also noticed that most of the purple berries had been picked clean from their stems. Another kind of berry, which started out a dark purple color (almost brown), was starting to ripen into a beautiful shade of red. I didn’t see anymore plums and I’m guessing that they too have been picked clean, much like the purple berries. The large acorns hanging from the post oak were still green, but I can imagine that it won’t be long until they turn brown and harden.

As I made my way to my spot, I caught a glimpse of the moon over the treetops and I gazed at the silver sliver in the sky for a moment. As much as I am a child of the Earth, celestial objects bring an almost equal sense of awe to me as well. Then I stepped over towards the sweet gum trees to commune with them. I touched their trunks and asked for their strength and calm, which the trees were happy to give.

Afterwards, I sat in my spot and listened to the buzz of the cicadas. People I know tend to think that the sound they make is annoying, but to me it’s almost like a song. As I listened, their buzzing would speed up and slow down in regular intervals. If you listened close enough, sometimes you heard new sounds within their song as other cicadas added something different in the mix. It was quite a beautiful experience.

I did a 20 minute walking meditation and it was similar to last visit in that I carried a bag to pick up trash, making that a part of the meditation. In fact, there was a good amount of trash on some of the more secluded trails. I had a good rhythm and focus as I cleaned the trails, sweat pouring down my face in the heat and humidity. It was cleansing, in a way. I continued my walk, letting the sounds of the forest surround and fill me. I focused on my movements and my mantra, but towards the end of the meditation I realized another good method of focus. In addition to feeling my movements and focusing on them, I could also focus on placing my feet as I walk across the ground. It’s something to consider, at least. Overall, this was a relaxing session.

Once I was finished with my walking meditaton, I thanked Nerthus and the land wights for the experience. As I was walking back to my car, I caught a glimpse of the brilliant orange sun as it was setting across the lake and I savored the moment. With summer swiftly coming to a close, it was a fitting end to the trip. I disposed of the trash I had picked up, then left the park.

Meditation journal (9/3 – 9/8)

9/3 – Two Powers (S)

Used my short chant beforehand to get focused and it worked really well. Perhaps I can use something like that to help get focused at the beginning of other types of meditation. Sky power felt electric as it moved through me. It was a powerful sensation and I’m glad  that I’m feeling it as intensely as I have the earth power (sometimes in the past it seemed like I felt earth power more strongly). When the TP merged, I felt empowered and relaxed, ready to start my day.

9/4 – Walking meditation (N)

I did a 20 minute walking meditation at Silver Lake this evening. My results are in the nature awareness section of my week 27 DP journal post:

“Shortly after sitting in my spot, I did a 20 minute walking meditation. I established a good rhythm, focusing on my movements as my legs carried me along the paths. As I was walking I kept seeing trash on the trails. Rather than leave it, I decided to incorporate the disposal of the trash into my walking meditation, which worked out very well. I was a tender of the paths, walking through the woods and caring for it, while being aware of the forest and life all around me. It was a fantastic feeling! My mind started to get distracted by errant thoughts, so I used my left foot/right foot mantra to help me stay focused which was successful. As I walked, I began to drift into a meditative state, and it was along the path that I felt a keen sense of the earth goddess. It almost sounded like she was laughing in the forest. There was a beautiful quality to that moment that is hard to articulate. It was fleeting and mysterious, and I long to hear it again someday.”

9/5 – Two Powers (S)

Used chant before starting to help me focus and again it was very helpful with that. Felt the dark, mysterious waters fill me and the radiant, ordering light shine in me. I felt luminous and whole. Woke up this morning feeling a bit anxious, but the TP washed it away, leaving me calm and relaxed. While the earth power is chaotic potential, the sky power is a guiding light, showing the way and manifesting all things that it illuminates. Have also noticed that the TP meditation stimulates my creativity as well. Understanding it and thinking about it seems to drive me to write about it poetically.

9/7 – Walking meditation (O)

Challenging session today. Had a hard time staying focused and it was tough to even stay focused on my mantra as well. Still enjoyed the time outdoors and I lightly treaded on a meditative state a couple of times. Enjoyed feeling the sun on my back as I walked. A lot going on along the street I walked, so that could have affected my focus as well. Made the best of it. Sometimes it’s all you can do!

9/8 – Devotional (S)

Devotional went very smoothly.  My visualizations were very vivid which really helped in bringing the presence of the Three Kindreds to my shrine. Sensed an urging from the Kindreds which I interpreted as their desire to see me continuing to deepen my work with them and within Druidry. It’s a reassuring feeling and shows that I’m on the right path for me. Devotional left me feeling relaxed, empowered, and ready to begin my day.

Dedicant Path: Week 27 – “The Nine Virtues: Integrity”

Integrity

Dedicant Path manual definition:

Honor; being true to one’s self and to others, involving oath-keeping, honesty, fairness, respect and self confidence

Dictionary.com definition:

1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.
3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship’s hull.

Within personal relationships, integrity is being honest and fair, one who keeps their word to another and honors those agreements by following through. This fosters trustworthiness and credibility, often the hallmark of a strong individual. Integrity is being true to oneself and true to others, and holding to one’s principles and values. While the social aspects of integrity are often emphasized, it’s important to note that it also includes the physical realm as well. To have integrity in body is to be discerning in what is healthy to eat, as well as maintaining the physical body through exercise in order to stay healthy. Integrity touches all aspects of life and is ultimately about being a complete person socially, mentally, physically, and spiritually. By keeping all of these things strong and in balance makes the goal of living a good and fulfilling life a reality.

Integrity is an incredibly important virtue to have in ADF. The path of Druidry is about honoring the Kindreds and the Earth, but it is also about the path to become a better human being. Integrity lays a strong foundation for human behavior and works remarkably well with the other eight virtues by lending additional strength to each of them. While the dictionary definition of integrity works, I prefer the ADF definition because it is a more complete view of the virtue. I think it would be an even better definition if the physical aspect of integrity was mentioned, thus covering all parts of life that are touched by the virtue.

Nature awareness (continued):

The temperature was a bit cooler on my nature awareness trip to Silver Lake on Wednesday evening, which means fall is drawing closer. Thankfully, we’re only a couple of weeks away from the beginning of autumn and I’m happy for the change!

I gave my offering of cornmeal to Nerthus and wheat bread to the land wights in the thicket. On my way out, I noticed a spider sitting in its intricate web and I stood to observe it for a few moments. It sat in wait for its next meal and I wonder now if it feels the coming changes in the season. I also wonder if it knows that its life is drawing to a close as the season turns to much colder temperatures.

After emerging from the thicket, I browsed the trails to observe the forest around me. The sounds of the cicadas swarmed the wooded area, emitting a high pitched buzz wherever I went. It was almost hypnotic, in a way. I saw the cluster of berries and more were ripening into the deep purple color. I also saw other types of berries. Some were brown in color and others were still green. I look forward to seeing which color they will end up being when they become ripe. I walked by a post oak and noticed the big, beautiful acorns on the branches. They were green and still soft to the touch. I went looking for the plum trees, but the ones I typically checked on were bare. I also noticed that some of the purple berries nearby were missing as well. I’m guessing some kind of animal came by to grab the fruit to store of for winter, but I’m not entirely certain. It was still a bit odd to see them missing. For the most part, most of the trees were still full and green.

A little while later, I wandered to my spot and sat, listening and observing the land around me. The cicadas were relentless in their high pitched drone. I gazed at the sweet gum tree that sits across the path from where I sat and pondered its life cycle. I noticed that some of its leaves were beginning to turn yellow and I wondered about when the gumballs would eventually dry up and release its seed. Time will tell, for sure. I also thought about how I’ve become close to the sweet gum tree and all the trees around me, for that matter. Developing a relationship with the land has been incredibly fulfilling physically and spiritually. I don’t think I could, or would want to, stop what I’ve started with my visits to connect with nature. There is great wisdom in the trees, for the tale of the tree is the tale of life. While pondering this, I discovered why I enjoyed listening to the sound of the wind moving through the trees so much. Its because the wind lends the trees their voice. In a way, I can hear them talking, imparting their wisdom for those who will stop and listen.

Shortly after sitting in my spot, I did a 20 minute walking meditation. I established a good rhythm, focusing on my movements as my legs carried me along the paths. As I was walking I kept seeing trash on the trails. Rather than leave it, I decided to incorporate the disposal of the trash into my walking meditation, which worked out very well. I was a tender of the paths, walking through the woods and caring for it, while being aware of the forest and life all around me. It was a fantastic feeling! My mind started to get distracted by errant thoughts, so I used my left foot/right foot mantra to help me stay focused which was successful. As I walked, I began to drift into a meditative state, and it was along the path that I felt a keen sense of the earth goddess. It almost sounded like she was laughing in the forest. There was a beautiful quality to that moment that is hard to articulate. It was fleeting and mysterious, and I long to hear it again someday.

I ended my meditation, feeling joy from the experiences I had. I thanked the land wights and Nerthus for the experience. Out of all this time coming to the park, I have yet to thank the Earth Mother until now. How I could forget such a thing like that is beyond me, but that changes from this day forward. Perhaps me hearing her laughter was the earth goddess’ way of bringing herself fully into my awareness. It’s something that I’ll never forget. I pitched the trash I had found in a trash container and left the park.

Meditation journal (8/20 – 8/25)

8/20 – Two Powers (S)

Felt anxious this morning before TP meditation. Thankfully, the session helped to calm me by grounding and centering me. I find this particular meditation so useful for mitigating anxiety. Really felt the cold waters of the earth power, as well as the warmth of sky power. The powers merged, circulating within me and washing away the jitters of the anxiety. In many ways it was not only a grounding and centering but a cleansing as well.

8/21 – Walking meditation (O)

I did a 15 minute walking meditation at Silver Lake this evening. My results are in the nature awareness section of my week 26 DP journal post:

“I did a 15 minute walking meditation and it was still challenging to stay focused on my movements, but there were a couple of moments where I felt like I had reached a meditative state. My mind was still and it felt like my body glided through the greenery. I focused primarily on my movements, but I also tried focusing on the rhythmic sound of my footfalls in the grass. This was a helpful technique and I’d like to experiment with it a little more. A friend of mind told me that once you get into that trance-like state while moving, it’s as if all the boundaries dissolve around you and became one with the land as you move through it. I’ve had similar experiences while still and in basic trance, and I feel hints of this sensation in active meditation. I think I’ve only scratched the surface in regards to reaching this state while moving, but I feel the potential. I think some of the issue I’m having are the paths I’m walking. They rarely go continuously and have many branches, which is a bit distracting trying not to get lost while performing this meditation! Perhaps I’ll find a longer and more direct trail next time and see how I fare. In any event, it was a satisfying experience and one I’m excited about exploring further.”

8/23 – Two Powers (O)

Oftentimes when I do the TP meditation I get to feel the earth power more because I fill myself with that power first. This time, at the end of the meditation when I receded the earth power, I lingered on the sky power. It felt warm as it shined within me, full of energy and that feeling of precision. It’s this illumination that brings form and energizes the potential into manifestation. I really feel these qualities in the sky power and I’m happy to have found a way to explore it more thoroughly.

8/24 – Walking meditation (O)

Did my walking meditation at night it was incredibly relaxing. The night air was cool on my skin and insects droned as a bright moon lifted into the sky. Focus on movement was solid and I slipped into a light meditative state for decent lengths of time. I glided through the dark, the sounds of the night surrounding me. Still adjusting to the fact that I’m meditating with my eyes open, which is a new and interesting experience. When thoughts arose, I just let them drift behind me and dissipate into the air, which is pretty effective.

8/25 – Devotional (S)

This was a peaceful devotional tonight. I could feel the power of the Hallows on my shrine emanating, and the Kindreds felt close. Gratitude was sensed from my offering and I felt a soothing calm throughout the devotional. When visualizing the land, sea, and sky, the visions are strong and distinct. The same goes for the Three Kindreds and I feel that this helps strengthen my connection to all of these things. In a way it feels as if I’m calling them forth, or rather, setting the table for them. I’m happy that they come. The devotional write-up is starting to grow on me, although I’d still like to change a few things.

Dedicant Path: Week 26 – “Second Book Started: Modern Paganism”

This week I started Being A Pagan: Druids, Wiccans, and Witches Today by Ellen Evert Hopman and Lawrence Bond.

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Book review – Indo-European Studies

A History of Pagan Europe

by Prudence Jones & Nigel Pennick

A History of Pagan Europe by Prudence Jones and Nigel Pennick is a fascinating look at the evolution of Pagan religions in Europe from ancient times to modern day. Despite the rise and dominance of monotheistic religions throughout history, this book seeks to show that Paganism “has continued to exist and even to flourish more or less openly up to the present day, when it is undergoing a new restoration” (Jones and Pennick 1). In addition to demonstrating the ways that Paganism has peeked through the prevalence of Judeo-Christian religions, the book also gives some insight into the practices of these ancient Pagans. From Greece and Rome to the British Isles and the Baltic, there is a wealth of deities and methods of worship whose influence echo into the Neo-Pagan practices of the modern era. It is in this latter observation that I felt was the true strength of this work.

Jones and Pennick write: “A sacred spring and a sacred tree: these totems are typical of indigenous religion the world over, they embody the spirit of place” (10). With this simple observation, it is obvious where the inspiration for much of the cosmology within ADF comes from. Before the Greeks offered to other deities within their sanctuaries “a preliminary sacrifice had to be made to Earth” (Jones and Pennick 17), which also points to the practice within ADF to offer to the Earth Mother first before other sacrifices are made. Local congregations within ADF are known as groves and the Celts had a similar practice (Jones and Pennick 81), while the importance of gates and doorways is prevalent with the Romans in their worship of Janus (Jones and Pennick 36). Also, the act of offering (*ghos-ti) was important to these older religions and is a core concept and practice within modern Druidry. It is “one of social responsibility: of sharing what one has with other people and with the originators of all bounty, the Immortals” (Jones and Pennick 15). In my own practice of Neo-Pagan Druidry, it’s important for me to know the roots of my worship. The evidence found throughout this book is not only inspiring to my practice, but lends it a legitimacy that I found lacking in other Neo-Pagan traditions.

Initially, I was put off by the amount of time devoted to Christianity as the fledgling religion that sought to suppress the old Pagan religions with its “one true god.” With the amount of information provided on how the religion ultimately reshaped history, I was beginning to think there was an anti-Christian bias here. However, I soon learned that historical Christianity is central to the thesis of this book. There are plenty of examples of how Christianity destroyed temples and sought to convert the inhabitants of the land by force, but there’s a deeper message here. It’s not about what was destroyed, but what survived. The practice of horse sacrifice in northern Europe continued after the region was mostly Christian. For example, when “the monastery at Königsfelden in Germany was founded in 1318, a horse was sacrificed” (Jones and Pennick 140). Even the ancient Pagan observance of throwing offerings into lakes or rivers has continued to this day in the form of wishing wells, which can often be found at public parks or a local mall (Jones and Pennick 108). I will admit that even though the focus was on the survival of practice rather than the Christian expansion, I was inspired by the actions of those who resisted conversion. In particular, Thorleif the Wise, who was to be blinded, “bore his torture with such heroic composure that his attackers fled after tearing out one eye” (Jones and Pennick 135).

While there is a wealth of useful information in the book, I did have a couple issues. Since the book covers such a wide range history and cultures, it felt a bit too broad in some areas. I was so enraptured by reading about the various Pagan practices that I was clamoring for more material. That being said, I understand that this can be a problem with a book that covers a lot of general information, so it didn’t bother me too much. Also, being a book of history, sometimes the names and locations were confusing and hard to keep track of. I recognize the importance of talking about troop movements and cultural migration, because these elements played a part in the spread of religious ideas, however some of these sections were very dry and difficult to get through. I would advise having an atlas on hand while reading this book.

Despite these problems, I would highly recommend A History of Pagan Europe for anyone who is serious about researching Paganism and seeing the roots of the modern movement. While an advanced scholar may desire more out of it, I think it’s a good start for someone who is beginning their study. I also think this book is a great introduction to modern scholarship on ancient Paganism. Reading about the practices of various Pagan religions and learning more about my own hearth culture, the Germanic peoples, has really ignited to fire in me to learn more. I hope that this book will do the same for others.

Works cited:

Jones, Prudence, and Nigel Pennick.  A History of Pagan Europe.  London: Routledge, 1995.  Print.

Nature awareness (continued):

Summer has appeared to return in full force as temperatures and humidity were fairly high on my trip to Silver Lake this week. Unfortunately, I received some bad news on the way to the lake, so I felt unfocused and distracted from the start.

I made my way to the thicket and gave my offering of cornmeal to Nerthus and bread to the land wights. I stilled my mind, listening for a response, and after a few moments I heard a bird chirp above me among the foliage. From this sign I felt that my offerings were accepted, but as if to reinforce the point, a feeling of welcome and peace washed over me as I exited the thicket. This is such a reassuring feeling. To think that at one point I considered my relationship with the land wights the weakest among the Three Kindreds. Now I feel the reverse is true, and this relationship and connection continues to grow with each trip I take.

I walked the trails, observing the sights and sounds around me. I noticed that the small, clustered fruits are now beginning to turn into a purple berry. I’d like to identify them to see if they are edible. Not that I’d eat them if they were unless I was starving, but it’s good knowledge to have. The plums were continuing to ripen, and they too are slowly changing to a deep purple color. As I passed beneath the towering trees, I noticed that some of the leaves were beginning to turn yellow. This struck me as a bit premature and I wonder if the cool weather we’ve been having the past couple of weeks has affected the trees in this way. I saw some of the trees with those nodules that I’ve been checking up on over the past several months. They still haven’t exhibited any kind of change and I wonder if it’s some kind of disease that afflicts certain trees. I had a suspicion that perhaps they housed insects of some kind, but this appears not to be the case. I think further research is warranted. As I walked along the paths, birds flew through the underbrush as I walked by. I marveled at how they don’t hit the branches when they do that, but glide effortlessly through.

After awhile I sat in my spot, listening to the sounds of the forest. It was difficult as I had a lot on my mind, but I tried my best. The birds were chirping and the bugs were droning in the trees. I watched as sweat bees hovered over my skin, attracted to the salt from the sweat that rolled off my skin. It was a time of contemplation, to be sure, but eventually I gave up on trying to calm my mind and went straight to the meditation to see if that would do the trick.

I did a 15 minute walking meditation and it was still challenging to stay focused on my movements, but there were a couple of moments where I felt like I had reached a meditative state. My mind was still and it felt like my body glided through the greenery. I focused primarily on my movements, but I also tried focusing on the rhythmic sound of my footfalls in the grass. This was a helpful technique and I’d like to experiment with it a little more. A friend of mind told me that once you get into that trance-like state while moving, it’s as if all the boundaries dissolve around you and became one with the land as you move through it. I’ve had similar experiences while still and in basic trance, and I feel hints of this sensation in active meditation. I think I’ve only scratched the surface in regards to reaching this state while moving, but I feel the potential. I think some of the issue I’m having are the paths I’m walking. They rarely go continuously and have many branches, which is a bit distracting trying not to get lost while performing this meditation! Perhaps I’ll find a longer and more direct trail next time and see how I fare. In any event, it was a satisfying experience and one I’m excited about exploring further.

After my walking meditation I checked on the woodchuck, but unfortunately it wasn’t around. I really hope to see it again sometime. Afterwards, I cleaned up some trash in the area, thanked the land wights for the experience, and then left the park.